Sunday, April 28, 2013

We have the Power of Choice - Use it Wisely

          We've talked about being the change, we've talked about changing from either inspiration or desperation and we last talked about finding our burning platforms. In this post we're going to learn about the diagram below. This is another skill I learned from the late Stephen Covey. It is called the Circle of Influence - Circle of Concern.
           It is based on the idea that each of us are blessed with the power of choice. That means that we are not animals and bound by instinct; but people, born of God and blessed with a mind that can choose between one direction and another. So lets use a simple example. Say you plan an outing with your kids. You've been working hard, haven't done much with them or your spouse and you plan a big hike and camp out and everyone is excited. Friday comes and you hurry home, start packing and the downpour begins. Your spouse comes out and tells you its forecast that its raining and cold all weekend. You have a choice.
            Lets say you just go off. You're mad, the kids are clearing out and your spouse is trying to keep the peace. You decide without talking to your family the trip is off and you'll do it another time. You just let the kids down and lost several points with the spouse. In this example, look down to the bottom left corner, you're that little red circle in the middle. You are highly reactive and have little influence on your family or those around you at work or otherwise. Why? Because when you choose things you have influence over, the red area, you gain more influence in your life. When you choose things in the white area, circle of concern, that means choice in that area are things you're concerned about, the weather, over which you have no influence.
             Now lets see what happens when you take a totally different approach. The same situation happens and you come home, the spouse tells you the miserable forecast and with a smile on your face, you take the crew inside, explain whats happening and right on the spot you facilitate a discussion of other things you could do together, go away to a motel with a pool, they'll figure it out, and everyone is happy and impressed and your stress level is near zero. What's the difference?
          Look to diagram 4 in the bottom right. You become a person who recognizes that you have no influence over the weather, nothing but concern, but you do have influence over making new plans and making your family happy. You'll see that a person operating in diagram 4, bottom right, will continue to make their circle of influence larger and larger as you don't have fits, blame others for your problems or give up. You become a person of influence. You are proactive not reactive.
          The other two diagrams simply illustrate where the majority of people operate. Probably 10% of the people you meet are purely in diagram 3, really reactive. I'm guessing 40% of the people are in diagram 1, with some influence but not much. They are the followers. Then 40% of the people are in diagram 2, have a balance of choosing for themselves and complaining why the cannot get it done.
          If you want a life of less stress and more influence over where you end up, then you work to operate in diagram 4. Become a person of influence. Become a person who chooses their direction and doesn't just sit back and complain. We live in a world of whiners. We live in a world where people want anyone to solve their problems except the person they look at in the mirror everyday. When I learned this principle from Stephen, I went from diagram 1 to diagram 4 over the course of the next year. And I assure nothing changed except me. I will cover that change in detail in my next post in a few days.
           Really take this to heart as you contemplate exactly how you want to change to make America a better place. We can complain all we want about Congress, which had a single digit approval rating in the last election and we voted over 85% of them back into office. Somebody is saying one thing and doing another? If we are to hope to make a difference for America we must be proactive and not reactive. We must become the change we seek in the world.
          The next time you see your school, community or state making a decision that takes us further away from our nations founding fathers and our God centered values that made this country what it was, you need to work in your circle of influence and make a difference, make your voice heard not just by what you say but by how you live and what you do. This simple concept can change your entire life. Ponder it and pray about it and act on it. Become a proactive person. Become the positive change we need in the world.
          For a better tomorrow ...

No comments:

Post a Comment